April 15, 2013


Tax Day....Resolutions vs. Goals...and Other Stuff 

It's April 15th...Tax Day in America....Time to review and assess where we are, what we've accomplished and how much those accomplishments are going to cost us.  For our household, our taxes are done and filed, so I am taking this day to review and assess my own personal taxation.  My New Years Goals. 

A long time ago I made the decision to never again make New Year Resolutions.  Instead I began creating a list of New Years Goals for myself.  For me, Goals are easier to manage.  Goals can be flexible and deadlines much easier to negotiate.  On the other hand, making a resolution gives you only two options - succeed or fail.   Once you make a resolution you are duty bound to move forward even if you change your mind about it.  Frankly, I don't need the extra pressure. 

When it comes to New Years Resolutions people normally only choose one thing to focus on.  For a week or a month - for those willing to stick it out that long - they are all about the Resolution.  Faithfully watching their calories, going to the gym, dusting off the treadmill in the corner or calling up all their buddies to organize a walking club.  

Then slowly but surely they find other things to do.  Someone has the bright idea to start bringing bagels and cream cheese to the office once a week.  The treadmill begins collecting a new layer of dust. Your walking club begins to meet at Starbuck's for coffee and breakfast before the walk and the next thing you know, the most walking you do is from the car to the counter.  Once you realize that your resolution isn't going to happen, you either beat yourself up mercilessly for failing, or pretend you didn't make the resolution in the first place.  Neither of these options is productive or particularly good for your self esteem.  

Speaking for myself, I have enough issues with self esteem to deal with.  I don't need any extra fuel for that particular fire.  So, I choose to make goals.  Not just one or two, I make several.  They range from the standard and predictable weight loss and healthy living aspirations, to things I've always wanted to do, like learn how to quilt.   I look at my life and think about things I want to do or try and they go on the Goals List.   

If I don't reach a goal, I don't beat myself up.  I look at what I was able to accomplish and move forward.  I think about why something didn't work and I try to come up with a new plan.  I can reset, postpone, or even rework a goal at will.  No failure, no guilt, no pressure, no problem. 


I keep a list of my goals in a note book.  I start a new notebook every year.  My New Years Goals always go on the first page.   My notebook is very old school - pen and paper.  I have multiple digital devices and if I kept my notebook on any of them I feel certain that I would lose track of where I put it.  I have no doubt that a digital notebook would eventually find it's way into the dark recesses of digital memory and would never see the light of day again.  

For my notebook I bought a pretty little day planner at the bookstore.  I can add extra paper as needed and remove things I no longer need.  I took out the calendar and added more note paper.  I keep it nearby when I'm watching TV or browsing the web. 

I jot notes about songs I like so I can look for them later on iTunes, or books or websites mentioned during interviews that I want to check out later.  I get ideas for Birthday and Christmas presents for family and friends and I write those down throughout the year.   I've even started writing down recipes from cooking shows as they make a dish.   

I learned, the hard way, that sometimes they leave out an ingredient or two in the published recipe online. One time I was making something and it wasn't coming out the way it did on the show, then I realized that the published recipe had left out a key ingredient - water.  I started writing the recipes down myself from then on. 

Keeping a Goals List at the front of my notebook allows me to revisit them almost daily, or at least every time I open the book. This way, my goals are fresh in my mind and I have the option to frequently review and assess how I'm doing.  It's a neat little system and it works for me.  

So, even though it's April and well past New Years I'd like to share my Goals for 2013:

1. Organize and simplify every room in the house.
2. Cook more for healthier meals - Less take out.
3. Be more active about weight loss.
4. Engage in more learning - online classes, lectures, TED Talks, etc.
5.Try to remember birthdays and send cards (I have gotten very lazy about this over the years.)
6. Learn how to Quilt - I'm excited about this one and a little scared. 
7. Work on my bead designs for Christmas tree ornaments and scarf embellishing.
8. Try not to fall down so much. 


Some might feel that Goals vs. Resolutions this is a cop out of sorts and it may well be, but, at least I'm not beating myself up over broken promises and creating unrealistic expectations for myself.

Til next time....be well.  

Here's hoping...... 

April 2, 2013

Blog One

This blog is titled  Dump Simmer and Serve, but, it isn't about cooking. It's about anything and everything, including the occasional recipe or cooking story.  Mostly, though, it's about life, and other stuff.  It's not that my life is incredible or all that interesting.  I just enjoy the process to writing and occasionally working out some feelings through my writing. 

My approach to life has always been a little like my approach to cooking.  Dump, Simmer and Serve,  The simpler the better. The more complicated you make your life the more likely it is that something will 'bugger' it up.  (Side note: I love British and Aussie swear words and slang.)

I never was much for measuring things out and patiently waiting for things to come together before finishing with a flourish.  Heck, I pace in front of the microwave waiting for a cup of coffee to reheat.  When a recipe calls for sifting, whisking, or stirring for extended periods of time I opt out and try it my way hoping it will all turn out okay.  I suppose that's why I have the same toast whenever we have a dinner party: "Here's hoping is doesn't suck."  It usually gets a laugh or two, and a few odd looks from those who don't quite get my humor. 

In my life, I more often than not will jump right into a project before making sure I have everything I need, including proper training, to finish a job.  Assessing the situation ahead of time just isn't my forte', as they say.  

That being said, I am fully aware that I've been very lucky in my life so far.  Most of the time things work out just fine for me.  Sometimes they don't, but, since I'm still here, failing at those things clearly wasn't the end of the world.

And so, here I go again.  For the record - This isn't my first blog. I've have a couple before this one.  I started my first one on Yahoo 360 several years ago.  Yahoo 360 went the way of the dinosaur so I switched over to Multiply, which has now followed Yahoo 360 into oblivion.   Through those two blogs I met several e-friends who have offered support, laughter, and camaraderie through some difficult times.  Even though I have only met a few of them face to face I do count them all as friends.   In large part, it was because I jumped in and didn't think too much about it that I wasn't afraid to open up and really be me.  And that made it possible for me to eventually find the love of my life, Norm.  

So, about me, I am an overweight, over 50 woman who loves to write, talks baby talk to her dog, and laughs everyday with her boyfriend about the silliest things.  

I have things I want to learn and do, but, I refuse make a bucket list - too much pressure,  I can be lazy, and a world class procrastinator.  I am also the worst kind of perfectionist - there are two kinds if you didn't know.  There's the good kind.  The person who keeps trying til they get it just right and then there's me.  The person who is so afraid of doing it wrong she doesn't even try.  I fight this personal battle often and sometimes I actually make some progress.  

I have a SERIOUS phobia of bees and wasps and because most therapies involve actually physically confronting the thing you are afraid of I haven't been able to make myself go for help.  Come Spring and Summer everyone is outside enjoying the sunshine and warm weather.  I want to be outside too, but, at the same time I am freaking out at the prospect of just taking the dog for a walk.  

I love people with good humor and I really dislike negative snarky people.  I try to avoid using the word HATE.  It is an ugly and powerful word and if I use it you can be sure that I am not using it lightly. 

That's about it for now.  "Here's hoping it doesn't suck."

Be well.